Lessons Learned from the 50 & Wiser Club Project
I describe the 50 & Wiser Club as my midlife crisis that turned into my midlife adventure.
The 50 & Wiser Club started in 2021 with the idea to photograph 50 women to celebrate my 50th birthday the following year. I think it started as a bit of a distraction or to prove I was worthy. Worthy of what, you may ask.
Perhaps worthy enough to photograph women just for themselves. Before this project, I only ever photographed women with their families or for their work. I never offered the option for women to be photographed simply to celebrate themselves. It was a daunting idea, for me the photographer and for my subjects. There is no family to hide behind and no business to give you the excuse to be photographed. Women would have to admit they were worthy to do something for themselves.
My midlife adventure led me to do something I never imagined I could do. I photographed and interviewed 72 women and turned their portraits and wisdom into a beautiful coffee table book.
While I walk you through how it all came about, here’s ten lessons I learned during my two year midlife adventure. There are heaps more I could share with you, but I think ten is a good place to start.
Lesson One - BE BRAVE OVER PERFECT.
This one is very important and something I continually remind myself of everyday. That is what I did before I started the project and before I started writing the 50 & Wiser Club Book.
“PERFECT” is a very subjective word. I have learned we waste a lot of time trying to achieve this unachievable “perfect”. It often stops us from even starting. Who else is a reformed perfectionist?
Ann Dollard, age 63. “I’m going to ‘be’ and ‘do’. No more ‘should’ or ‘could’. For things to change, you must change first. You are the CEO of your life. Only you have that ability.“
Lesson Two - WE ARE WORTHY.
As women, we often put ourselves last. OR think it is too over the top or self-indulgent to do things just for us. But I have learned that is far from the truth.
We are worthy to be celebrated. Just because, no reasons are needed.
Tara Anderson, age 51. “I’m not sure how much wisdom I’ve gained over time but I’m looking forward to the next chapter of my life. I’m rediscovering my sense of self and who I am. I have a renewed sense of calm and fulfilment. It’s difficult to describe but it’s a good feeling. I can’t wait to discover what future adventures lie ahead for me.”
Through the 50 & Wiser Club, we proved it is possible to have a photoshoot for no other reason then to celebrate life. And we discovered it was fun!
Lesson Three - PHOTOGRAPHY CAN BE EMPOWERING.
During every session, I would witness a transformation. Almost everyone started out shy in front of the lens. I know, who really likes to be photographed. But, by the end of each session the 50 & Wiser Women were dancing, owning it and wearing tulle (if they wanted). They walked out of the studio a little taller, with a bounce in their step and heaps of tips of how to look amazing in any image.
I realised that there’s a difference between how we see ourselves and how our friends and loved ones see us. Others don’t see the perceived faults we see when we look in the mirror. When they look at us, they see our radiant eyes, our smile, our kindness and our beauty. They aren’t worried about the lines between our eyes or extra belly weight. Only we are are. Seriously it’s true.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MY JOURNEY ….
Before I started the project, I was tasked with market research to ensure my idea could work. When I started asking women what they thought about my idea, I received mixed feedback. The one that gave me the most determination to move forward was, “I don’t want to be part of that club. Don’t you label me as 50 & Wiser. “
I began to think, why not? Okay, to be honest, when I turned 45, I thought, well at least I am not fifty. Like many women, I was afraid of what the next stage in life meant.
Then I reflected on someone who is a very important influence in my life, my mother Mary-Gray Griffith.
Mary-Gray Griffith (my mother), 90 years old in this portrait. “Be honest and if you know you’re doing right, be confident. Share yourself.”
She was 44 when she had me and in that same year, she started her own Real Estate office. Which, after 52 years, is still serving the community.
My mother proved to me, that you can make a difference in the world, no matter your age or gender. She was the voice that told me I had to do something to prove women are worthy at any age. That life is far from over after 50.
Lesson Four – IF YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART WHAT YOU’RE DOING IS RIGHT, LET THE NEIGH SAYERS INSPIRE YOU NOT DISCOURAGE YOU.
In March 2022 I start my journey of photographing and interviewing the women. I am so grateful I did not let the women who did not want to “be part of this club” scare me off. That particular woman couldn’t even remember saying those words to me. And the crazy thing is we ended up having a wait list as I had to stop accepting applications. So listen to your heart … not the peanut gallery!
(I quickly learned) Lesson Five - LIFE IS FAR FROM OVER AFTER 50.
Turning 50 and beyond can be the start of something wonderful.
“Women over 50 are the heartbeat of society.” - 50 & Wiser Club Member
We have the benefit of past life experiences and time ahead of us (If we are fortunate enough) to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. If we have families, they begin to need us less, so we have the space to make a difference for ourselves and our communities.
Pauline Christiansen, 56. “Women over fifty are the heartbeat of society.”
(I also quickly worked out) Lesson Six - WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO INSPIRE.
After interviewing the first few women, I knew my initial idea of doing a photo and quote book would not do. Each woman’s story, which started from a simple question, “What did you want to be when you grew up”, left me often with goosebumps. I wanted to share what I found so inspiring with others.
We don’t have to be “famous” or do something “big” to inspire. Often it is the smaller things in life that can bring inspiration to others.
Lesson Seven - IT’S IMPORTANT TO SHARE STORIES.
This is not just for women but for men also. I found that by sharing our stories we can help others know that they are not alone.
For example, in the 50 & Wiser Club Book there is a chapter about Menopause. It was something so many women felt blindsided by. But we don’t have to go through it alone. We can share our experiences and stories to help others avoid stress and be prepared for that stage in their lives. IF only we, and society, talked more about it.
Sally Estlin, 54. “Sharing your stories can help you laugh about what is quite a painful process on many levels. A process that is out of your hands. However, it’s also part of being a woman. Embracing your body for what it is and accepting who you are as a person, hormones and all, is essential.”
Lesson Eight - IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START SOMETHING NEW OR GO IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.
If we want to make changes in our lives, it is never too late. I met many women who started new careers after 50. One of our 50 & Wiser Club members is 80 and now learning Italian.
Why not? If it doesn’t work, well at least you gave it a go. Learning new things keeps us young!
Lesson Nine - WHEN YOU NEED INSPIRATION OR MOTIVATION PICK SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOURSELF.
Working with the Go Girls Foundation gave me the push to keep going whenever I doubted myself. Especially when it came to planning our exhibit and book launch.
I just reminded myself, I was doing it for something bigger than me. We ended up raising more than $20,000 for women at risk. The funds raised supported four women through the Go Girls Program.
Michelle Jobson, 59. Co-Founder Go Girls Foundation. “The fifties have been the most beautiful period of my life because I was at that halfway mark where I knew what was important – more harmony and balance. Rather than longing for these things, I’ve gone and achieved them. It’s been a time to reflect on where I’ve been. As I move into the next period of my life, I can see nothing but amazing adventures.”
Lesson Ten - IT’S IMPORTANT TO CONSCIOUSLY MAKE TIME TO BE ALONE.
We all need to be alone and just be, not do. We spend so much of our time multi-tasking, looking after others, and being plugged into technology that the pauses there used to be in life (on the bus, going for walk, sitting at home) have been hijacked with constant stimuli.
We need to detach from these things every so often. We need space and time alone to think. Without it, personal growth and change are almost impossible.
And finally I will add one last lesson, that comes straight from the 50 & Wiser Club Book.
Lesson Eleven - IKIGAI.
The Japanese have the most amazing word – Ikigai. Your ikigai is your life purpose or your bliss. It’s what brings you joy and inspires you to get out of bed every day. In my mind, it’s your passion. The Japanese say ikigai is the secret to a happy and long life. And I agree!
Born in 1897, my grandmother, Marie Dexter Griffith, was a keen painter who started painting as a hobby at the age of fifty-six. Our home is filled with her artwork. She started exhibiting her work in her seventies and made it through to a final in New York City at the age of eighty-eight. She continued painting, right up to the month before she died at the age of ninety-three. Keep your passions as they will keep you.
Me, Gray Tham. 50 Years Wise
The 50 & Wiser Club book is packed with many more lessons and pages of collected wisdom. To get your copy and to support other women click the button below.
Brigitta one of our 50 & Wiser Club Members enjoying being featured in the exhibit!
If you missed out on being part of the 50 & Wiser Club Project and would be interested in being featured in Simply Gray’s Wise Women 2024 Project, click the button below. Gray is looking for 40 women aged 40-100 to continue the celebration and to be featured in an exhibit in March 2025.
Below are photos from the 50 & Wiser Exhibit and Events.
